Can't Get Rid of Me
by GrandiloquentHeartlessness
Summary: "Smoking is the oldest and most relentless of Tommy's addictions." A conversation between Tommy and Jude, set late season 1.


**A/N:** Oneshot, set in the first season, after All Apologies, just before Train in Vain. (just before they wrap the first album)

* * *

Tommy takes another long drag on the cigarette, breathing out slowly and watching the smoke curl in the twilight. He had quit smoking—for good this time, he swore—nearly a year ago, but after Jude's 16th birthday, being around her had been stressful as hell. He finally gave into the craving to smoke a couple weeks ago in the midst of the drama with Chaz and Boyz Attack, and now he's back up to half a pack a day. He's always been weak when it comes to stuff like this, and smoking is the oldest and most relentless of his addictions.

Then again, of all the vices he's had over the years, this one really isn't so bad comparatively, even if he'll probably drop dead of lung cancer at some point. If he's going to let his self control slip, it's probably best it's with this. The irony of the fact that he's thinking this in the alley where he kissed Jude is not lost on him.

As if the thought has conjured her, the door opens and he hears Jude's voice say "There you are!" from behind him. He drops the cigarette quickly as she walks down the stairs, stamping it out beneath his heel and turning to her, but it's too late. She looks surprised. "Wait, you smoke?"

Tommy sighs, leaning back against the railing. "Caught me."

"Since when?" Jude asks incredulously.

He shrugs. "Like… ten years? Eleven, maybe?"

"When you were twelve?" she asks, looking taken aback.

"Around then, yeah." He raises an eyebrow, daring her to judge him for it.

"Oh. Huh." She looks down at her feet for a second, uncomfortable, but then her head snaps back up. "Wait, how did I not know that?" She crosses her arms over her chest, personally affronted as usual by the fact that she doesn't know everything about him.

He laughs. "Because I quit around the time we met." She raises her eyebrows, looking pointedly at the crushed cigarette on the ground, and he sighs again. "It was just the latest of many times I've quit, if I'm being honest. Nasty habit, very hard to break."

"Hmm." She looks down again and mutters, "I know the feeling."

His eyebrows shoot up. "If you tell me you smoke, I will kick your ass."

She looks back up at him, offended, crossing her arms over her chest again. "Excuse me?"

"I'm dead serious, Harrison," he says sternly.

She frowns. "Last time I checked you don't tell me what to do, Quincy. I am not a chi–"

Tommy cuts her off, speaking loudly over her. "A voice like yours is a rare thing, Jude." Her eyes widen in surprise and he takes a step closer to her. "I'm serious. This album is just the beginning. You're going places, girl. You are so phenomenally talented, and if I find out you're jeopardizing that, I swear to God…"

A flush creeps up her neck and she laughs nervously. "Wait, really? You mean that?"

He crosses his arms. "Do I look like I'm joking?"

"Well, I don't smoke. Never have, never will. Okay?"

He uncrosses his arms, relaxing and leaning against the railing again. "Good."

"You really think I'm 'phenomenally talented'?" she asks shyly, her face bright red now.

"This surprises you?" he asks, confused. "You know how–" He almost says _how I feel about you_ but stops himself just in time. "I've told you before, Harrison. You're the real thing. Even better."

"Shut up," she says, flushing darker, but her smile is wide. She looks down again, brushing a lock of her her red hair behind her ear. He's wondering what the hell she could've meant by _I know the feeling_ when she looks up again suddenly, frowning. "Hey, but what about you?"

"Uh… what _about_ me?"

"Wasn't that little speech pretty hypocritical just now?" she challenges him. "You're all, 'don't jeopardize your voice, Harrison,' but what about your voice? What about your talent?"

He's taken aback. "What do you mean?"

"I _mean_ that you're a singer too. How come it would be some sort of horrible tragedy if _I_ ruined my voice, but it's no problem for you?"

Tommy laughs. "I'm a lost cause." He shrugs. "Besides, I'm hardly a singer anymore."

"Don't say that!" Jude protests, more fiercely than he'd have expected. "You're so talented. You're an incredible producer, but you're an amazing musician too. Your songwriting, your voice, the way you play the piano… I mean it, you're incredible. I'm seriously so lucky to work with you." She's stepped closer to him, so she's standing right in front of him. His heart speeds up and he tries not to let the effect she has on him show in his face. "I'm serious, Tommy," she says, her blue eyes wide and sincere. "Don't ever call yourself a lost cause."

He stares at her for a long moment, mouth slightly open, at a loss for words. His throat has gone dry and he gets a flash of memory, soft lips and rainwater and her pressed up against him. "I, uh… I was kidding," he says finally. "Sorry."

"Oh." She steps back, embarrassed, looking down at the ground.

"Hey," he says softly, and she looks back up at him. "Thank you." He reaches out to touch her cheek, just for a moment. "That means a lot." He sees her breath catch a little, her lips parting, and he thinks that there should be some kind of a patch for this, something to take the edge off of his feelings for her, at least while she's still so young. He stops himself before he can think about how fucked up it is that he's been using Sadie for just that purpose. He clears his throat and pulls away from Jude, stepping back and leaning against the railing again. "Don't you have homework or something?" he asks. She grimaces, and he smiles. "School's important, Harrison." If only she knew how hypocritical _that_ statement was, coming from him.

She rolls her eyes. "Jeez, 'don't smoke, stay in school,' when did you become an after school special, Quincy?"

He grimaces. "I swear, I used to be cool." Self-deprecating humor isn't usually like him, but it's worth it for her laugh, full and loud. He smiles at her and gestures to the door with his head. "Come on, we have a big day of recording tomorrow. I'll take you home."

She sighs, but walks up the stairs and into G Major.

When he drops her off, she kisses him on the cheek, and he realizes as his heart clenches that he was wrong before. Of all of his addictions, she's the only one he knows he'll never be rid of.

* * *

 **A/N:** When was the last time I wrote anything set not in season 4? I don't even know. The first two seasons don't normally inspire me, I guess, but That Girl came up on shuffle and I was thinking about the "in that cigarette you breathe" line and yeah. The idea's been in my head for a few weeks now, but I wrote it in about an hour. Your feedback, as always, would be very appreciated.


End file.
